Out of Context

When you hang around certain people a lot, you start getting way too comfortable when you talk to them. Girls night out, for example, can cover a host of topics ranging from diaper changing to job changing to husband changing. Even better are best friends, who have broken down most barriers between them, discussing such things as a zombie apocalypse and what the return of skinny jeans means for our derrieres.

By far the best, however, are conversations between siblings.  Brothers and sisters have been with each other practically (or literally) their entire lives, so they have absolutely nothing to hide from each other. Having five siblings myself, I can attest to the fact that pretty much nothing is off limits in either personal details or just plain weirdness.

Actually, my family usually errs on the side of just plain weirdness. It’s like we compete in staring contests of strangeness, trying to out-weird each other until someone cracks (up, that is). Our Facebook status exchanges, for example, are often interrupted by an outsider simply posting “What the cheese crud?! How did I miss this kumquat uprising you’re talking about?”

Sometimes I wonder what pictures are conjured in the minds of others when they overhear (overread?) these discussions. I imagine they walk away thinking that either we’re insane, or our lives are more awesome than Lady Gaga’s. For your viewing pleasure, and because it was so darn fun, I have extrapolated what an innocent bystander might get out of an IM conversation I had with my brother Jay not long ago. Enjoy.

Jay: Guess why I am so excited today!

Go ahead, guess.

Carolynn: Um… you’ve got a new magical pet unicorn that breathes out gold dust.


Jay: Nope better than that.

Carolynn: Better that that?! It must be a magical pseudopod!

Unicorn is definitely less than Magical Pseudopod


Jay: Nope, not quite.

I’ll give you a hint.

It involves Las Vegas.

Carolynn: You saw Elvis?!


Jay: NO!  Though that would have been AWESOME!

It involves Apple!

Carolynn: You won the Bellagio in a thumb war with Steve Jobs?



Jay: Yeah…but I lost it in the next round.


Carolynn: Bummer

Jay: Jobs upgraded his thumb.


And yes, Mr. Jobs, I do expect to see this product soon–and some royalties.
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About Carolynn the Dyer

If I've learned one thing by having three children in four years, it's that babies are not, in fact, the best birth control. ... Okay, just kidding. I've really learned that laughter is the only way to survive the wilds of parenthood, and life in general. Also, that it is indeed possible to do dishes, parent, and carry on a conversation at the same time. If that sounds like fun, or just impossible, then come join me on my blog--and join me in the jungle.
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