You can always tell when it’s time for a new type of food around the Dyer household. At the clarion call of “Dinner!” the two elder children rush to the table. There is breathless suspense as they scramble into their seats, then sit down and examine the feast laid before them. Ladybug inevitably spots the suspicious newcomer first. She eyes it, sniffs in its general direction, wrinkles her nose, then opens her mouth and —

Momma interrupts with, “It’s okay, Ladybug. You only have to try one bite.”

Ladybug then twists her head to the side, her mouth in a knot. Strawbee has now noticed the foreign food and is already shrieking “Don’t want it, THANKS.” Ladybug shakes her head.

Momma is too tired to argue, so she comes out with, “All right. Let me get the ketchup and ranch.”

Yes, you read that correctly.

They would eat just this for every meal, if I'd let them.

Ketchup and ranch.

The saviors of our meal time, carefully placed at polar ends of the plate so never the twain shall meet. Despite this, however, they don’t actually eat it like that, separately and all. They don’t carefully choose which condiment will do better with each food. No, no.

They use both.

Ladybug dips hers in ketchup, then the ranch, then in the ketchup again before eating whatever it is. Strawbee just kinda… swirls the two together.

They both lick whatever is left over off of their plates.

Some of the things they’ve eaten with ketchup and ranch:

No, I’m not making that up. And if you asked me how it started, I wouldn’t really know.

Really, all I have to say is: Thank goodness for Costco.

All Hail, Ketchup and Ranch.


About Carolynn the Dyer

If I've learned one thing by having three children in four years, it's that babies are not, in fact, the best birth control. ... Okay, just kidding. I've really learned that laughter is the only way to survive the wilds of parenthood, and life in general. Also, that it is indeed possible to do dishes, parent, and carry on a conversation at the same time. If that sounds like fun, or just impossible, then come join me on my blog--and join me in the jungle.
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One Response to Condiments

  1. Susan says:

    Hahahaha!!!! Maybe I should try that.

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