And so, Today

I had a really great post (almost) ready for today, and then… I didn’t. I didn’t want to post it. I just kind of stopped. I do that a lot lately. I blame it on the fact that I’m in the “paralysis” stage of the panic cycle (you know, the one that goes “panic… paralysis…more panic… frenetic activity” and back again?) and I literally don’t want to do anything. Even sitting at my computer watching My Little Pony episodes sounds like too much effort. 

I find that the only thing that doesn’t sound like too much effort is worrying. I’m an Olympic-grade worrier when I try to be; that’s why I’m so gosh-darn amazing at this panic thing. Worrying aloud on the blog today sounded like a good option, but then I started worrying that people would actually try to *help* me if I did that, and that I might not have the wherewithal to fend them off so they’ll leave me alone in my lethargic puddle of do-nothingness. 

Then I decided, what the heck. It’s the internets. If I can’t randomly stress here without repercussions, I may as well give up the blog and go back to journaling.

Ergo, in no particular order (and limiting myself to ten), the List of Things that Keep The Dyer Awake at Night:  

  • WIll Strawbee ever learn to potty on the toilet without sitting on it for several hours first? 
  • Impending infertility. ‘Nuff said.
  • When were those bills due again?
  • I am so. not. cool enough to go back to college. I hope I pick a good outfit for the first day of class.
  • I think Jillian’s workout actually killed me today.
  • INTERVIEWS?!?!?!?!?!
  • Dealing with GROWN UPS?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  • Does anyone read what I write because they like to, or is it done out of some weird sense of obligation? 
  • If DB is at work enough, will I manage to forget what he looks like and thus attack him with a machete when he finally does come home?
  • Heart palpitations. Total anesthesia. The internet promises this is completely fine. I’m not sure I believe it.
  • Babies who aren’t doing so well. I know of several.
  • I have doubts that the house is going to last through “Survivor: Stay-at-home Dad Edition.”
  • Face it. Even though I finally admit to my geekiness, I will still never be as cool as the other kids. And by the other kids, I mean the other geeks

…Okay, I lied. I limited myself to thirteen. But that’s like buy eleven, get two free, right? And who doesn’t love free stuff?

I suppose the appropriate thing to do at this point would be to write a corresponding list of things I’m grateful for, but I don’t think I will today. Rather than permanently attaching a grumpy cloud of worry to a golden list of thankful, I’m just going to let this fog go and float off into the netherspace of the interwebs.

Then I’m going to get dressed, get the baby up, and do some dishes. Because there’s no panic treatment quite as effective as life. 

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About Carolynn the Dyer

If I've learned one thing by having three children in four years, it's that babies are not, in fact, the best birth control. ... Okay, just kidding. I've really learned that laughter is the only way to survive the wilds of parenthood, and life in general. Also, that it is indeed possible to do dishes, parent, and carry on a conversation at the same time. If that sounds like fun, or just impossible, then come join me on my blog--and join me in the jungle.
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4 Responses to And so, Today

  1. Susan says:

    I sure do know that feeling. Life can be so overwhelming at times.

  2. Susan says:

    P.S. I read your writing because I do actually like it 😀

  3. Amy Elliott says:

    Totally the weird sense of obligation. Just kidding. I love you. I even mention you in my blog (if I ever get the post up).

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